*My hubby decided he wanted to have some fun and write his own MM post. Which was helpful since my brain decided not to function tonight and basically boycotted the entire post. Bitch. So he’s my guest writer for the day! Enjoy!*
In yet another shocking incident where people prove that there are new lows that have yet to be explored on Moronic Monday – a man steals from cops…in the police station.
An Ohio man and his girlfriend were brought into the station for a disorderly conduct charge, but were released and free to go. The man had to make a phone call, where he then proceeded to think it’s a good idea to go ahead and start taking things from around him, such as used drug syringes, candy bars and a hat. He left the donuts alone, knowing that it was entirely possible that he would be water boarded and sent to “the hole,” with a mysterious guy named Bruno that would teach him a thing or two about donuts.
So this begs the question – how could anyone possibly think it’s a good idea to steal from cops? I mean, you magically gain a hat and some miscellaneous things in your pockets…any cop is going to pat you down and find it, especially since you just got released from another charge! Does he have some blood disease fetish too? Is that a fetish that people have? Oh baby…yeah, shoot me up with that needle…I want AIDS!
And of all things to steal from the cops…why a couple candy bars? Why a hat? Seriously, a couple used syringes? What the hell was he trying to accomplish? If you’re going to steal from the cops, at least go a little video game style and get a night stick or tazer, or something cool. Used syringes are just sleazy. Stealing candy bars just says, “desperate fat kid.” And the hat…well depends on the hat. If it’s a cool one like a Red Sox hat, then ok, I can see it. If it’s some beaten NASCAR thing that’s been down a port-o-potty and fished out by some redneck…umm…there’s problems. With the track record this guy has going, I’m guessing it’s more towards the “potty hat.”
He actually got caught because of the hat. Not because it stank, but because he was wearing it underneath his own hat, and a part of the police department’s logo was showing. Nobody believed his explanation that he was an honorary police officer. The whole disorderly conduct thing kinda ruined that.
So after initially being released for disorderly conduct and free to leave, this douche from Ohio was booked and locked up for theft. He must not have had enough and wanted to stick around for some more fun. Either that or quality time with Bruno.