Moronic Monday – Is that a lizard in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

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The answer to that question is, “actually, it’s a gecko. And a skink.” I don’t even know what a skink is but that’s beside the point. A German tourist was attempting to leave New Zealand when he attracted the attention of the airport security which led to a body search. I’m not really sure of the exact reason they searched him but I assume he must have had a pretty peculiar look on his face.

During the search the officers found a small package. Inside the box were 23 geckos and 20 skinks. In his underwear. Why? Just, why? Who in their right mind puts any kind of animal in their pants let alone their underwear so it’s just hanging out with your man/woman parts? I didn’t just make you a she-male, I promise. Just trying to include everyone. I’m nice like that. Anyway, I guess he happened to have a reject in his group because they also found a single gecko living in a rolled up sock packed into the man’s luggage. Maybe he was on little lizard timeout.

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Apparently the entire point to this madness was to sell these little creatures on the black market. Um, I didn’t even think there would be a demand for them. Then again I’m not exactly a black market kind of person so, whatever. In the UK these things actually go for a large amount of money although I’m lost on why. For the 24 geckos the man had in his manly areas he could get close to $36,000. For geckos. Seriously!? As for the skinks, no one knows what they would go for since the ‘experts’ didn’t even know they were being traded on the black market until this guy was found. Basically, they learned something from the man with lizards in his tighty whities. Awesome.

He was an organized freak criminal though, as he made sure to separate the species into different compartments in the lizard box. I guess if you’re going to commit to transporting creatures in your underwear, you might as well go all the way. It won’t help him when it comes to trial though since not only was he trading these creatures and transporting them out of the country but he also basically kidnapped them from the wild. That’s usually frowned upon.

Just imagine what the Geico gecko would think.

3 comments:

Attila The Mom said...
December 15, 2009 at 7:50 AM

Maybe he really wanted a skank in his pants but has trouble spelling and got confused. LOL

mepsipax said...
December 15, 2009 at 9:20 AM

Oh the squirming and the wriggling. OH my. That is so messed up.
The geico Gecko would be all pissed and send the insurance goons. They would wreck his junk. This is our racket they would yell. Haven't you noticed, it isn't always the same gecko you know.

Jessica said...
December 15, 2009 at 5:18 PM

I'm thinking the Geico gecko is probably, "why wasn't I in there? I'm worth more than 23 geckos. I fucking talk!"

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