Moronic Monday – Some people shouldn’t be allowed in Home Depot. Or near cars. Or really anywhere besides a padded room.

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The people in this story are so stupid that I think it just might hit a new level for our little Moronic Monday posts. Which is saying something if you’ve seen the previous entries.

Not everyone who walks into Home Depot or similar stores knows what they’re doing and that's fine. Hell, I walk in there a lot lately since buying the house and I’ve only ever touched a hammer when handing it to someone else. Tools are not my thing. Neither is wood. Or little pieces of hardware. Or anything electrical. Basically I go there to follow the hubby around while he attempts to tell me what we’re buying and trying to keep me out of the Christmas section. However, I accept my lack of knowledge about building and fixing things and just walk around aimlessly until it’s time to leave. This guy though, he jumped in head first and then fucked everything up. Including his car.

How bad do you think something needs to be for Home Depot to require you to sign a waiver before allowing you to take your purchased items? Apparently, the answer is pictured below.

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Yup. This is an actual photo. It was taken in an IHOP parking lot by a man working for a lumber company who spotted it while driving by. He pulled over and bought a disposable camera just to capture the stupidity. Probably because he didn’t think anyone would believe him without proof. Then he called the Police which must have been an interesting 911 tape to listen to. How do you even explain such a thing and get the other person to believe the story? I would have hung up. It’s probably a good thing I’m not a 911 operator.

Turns out, along with the tons of plywood are a bunch of 2x4s right below all held down with some twine. As if that wasn’t enough, the entire backseat is filled with 10 bags of concrete weighing in at 80 pounds each! When police arrived they found the man crouched behind his car trying to cut the twine to remove the load. All together the materials weighed in at over 3,000 pounds which caused the back tires to explode, the wheels to bend and the back shocks to be driven through the floorboard. Yet the car was still running (see the exhaust?) as if the guy really expected to simply drive away.

The topping on the cake though, was when the guy admitted he planned to drive from Florida to Clanton, Alabama with his girlfriend and this entire pile of wood and concrete. Why?

To build a house.

Just think, this man is sitting somewhere right now with access to a car and power tools. Frightening.

8 comments:

franzi said...
December 7, 2009 at 2:33 PM

you know, maybe there's no home depot in alabama. that would explain this stupidity...somewhat...ok, maybe not. people...

Jessica said...
December 7, 2009 at 4:29 PM

I'm not sure which is more amusing: that he tried to pile all that on his car OR that he thought it was enough to build a house? The hell? Is it a roofless house?...concrete slab + vertical 2x4's = house?

Wow...

Jennifer Lynn said...
December 7, 2009 at 5:11 PM

DUMBASS. Although, I did once ride in the back of a truck and "hold" a 15 foot 2x4 board in......in the 6 foot bed. That math sucks when you throw in gravity.

Cathy said...
December 7, 2009 at 6:04 PM

That guy is a mangenious. And he drives a pink car, so what do you expect?

I want to know who put all that on top of the car? Some idiot home depot worker with a forklift, that's who.

Bunch a morons.

nicoleantoinette said...
December 7, 2009 at 8:10 PM

You know, I feel like I've spent a ridiculously inappropriate amount of time in Home Depot (and similar stores) over the years, especially considering that, like you, I should be kept far away from tools and wood and anything requiring instructions. I just always seem to find myself in Home Depot, but never to buy the traditional Home Depot-ey shit. Like, I'm always buying big blue tarps. Or plastic bins to store shit in.

I don't know. Anyway, all of that to say that oh my GOD I want to make out with this person. Because I mean, WHAT? WHAT? This entire post makes me a) happy that I have functioning braincells and b) totally in the mood for IHOP.

Love,
Nicole The Intern

mepsipax said...
December 8, 2009 at 5:32 PM

Wow, I love your blog. Time to peruse old posts. I have met some dumb people in my time. Hope this guy isn't a breeder, but, something tells me he is.

Marie said...
December 9, 2009 at 4:46 AM

Oh my God, now I want IHOP, too!

I'd put a wager on him having at least 8 kids. It is Alabama, so possibly more, but they might be called his niece/nephew children. And they can call him their uncle/father.

BugginWord said...
December 10, 2009 at 10:26 AM

I would so be that guy...if I had power tools...and was building a house...and had just eaten pancakes...and was a guy. Ok, I wouldn't be that guy, after all.

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