My apartment is trying to make my ears bleed or make my head explode.


I wrote this during the day yesterday but didn’t post it right away. I meant to but kind of forgot to actually publish it. I blame it on the noise. So here it is now. Better late than never I guess.


As I write this, the fire alarm in our apartment building is going off. No, I’m not an idiot for being inside. This is the 4th time it’s gone off today and this last time has been going for literally an hour and a half. Yes, you read that right. Apparently a hot water heater in one of the apartments leaked (each unit has one) and caused the alarm below it to go off. The fire department came to turn it off and everyone went back inside. Then about 20 minutes later it went off again. The process repeated itself and then it went off a third time for about 10 minutes. All was quiet for about 15 minutes and then the 4th one went off. This time the fire department abandoned us because the alarm won’t stop until it’s replaced. The guy that needs to replace it hasn’t shown up yet. So here I sit with an ear piercing alarm going off for over 90 minutes. It’s amazing there hasn’t been a mass suicide yet.

For the first hour or so I sat outside on the balcony on the damn floor because all our outdoor chairs are at the house already. I even brought the laptop out there at one point because I was bored out of my mind. Then the bugs invaded. These little orangey-red ladybug things were fucking everywhere. They were like little kamikaze bugs because they were dive bombing my head. I swear bugs are attracted to me because they can sense how much I hate them. Then a hornet showed up followed by this massive bug thing I’ve never seen before and really never want to see again. The final straw was a spider that was crawling right for me. I almost lost it. So, I packed everything up and came back inside. Here I sit with huge headphones on and music blasting my eardrums to death to block out the evil ringing. It’s either this or letting my ears bleed from the alarm. I pick this.

The best part of this whole thing is no one from the maintenance staff can do a damn thing about it. Only a licensed alarm person can replace the one that’s setting it all off, so they can’t touch it. The fire department won’t show up anymore to turn it off because they know it’s not a real fire. We’re totally fucked if a real one actually breaks out because they’re completely ignoring us at this point. The staff here can’t silence the alarm without incurring a large fine for messing with the equipment so basically we’re all screwed. Most people left a long time ago to avoid the noise. Besides me, there’s only two other people here and they’re outside. Why haven’t I left, you ask? I haven’t mastered flying on a broom yet and have no car because hubby has it with him at work. So yes I’m stuck here as if I’m in prison. Only I didn’t do anything. This could be used as a form of torture. Anyone stuck in this noise with no form of blocking it would spill every secret they had.

It’s wonderful timing that this is all happening only days before we officially move out. We’re literally leaving this weekend with Saturday being our last night here. Why did this have to happen today? Why couldn’t it be next Tuesday instead when I’m not here to suffer through it? No of course not, because Murphy’s Law hates me and has made me a target. You know what I say to that then? Screw you Murphy. Screw you. I have hundreds and hundreds of songs on my laptop to block out the noise and I’ll do it as long as needed. Let’s just hope I don’t need to pee anytime soon since my laptop battery is special and can’t function without being plugged in. I really should replace that thing. I also can’t eat lunch for the same reason. I would go insane in the time it took to make a sandwich and then it would be wasted. It’s a lose-lose situation. For a split second I felt that I would miss our apartment a little but fuck that. I won’t miss a damn thing now.

It’s been a full 2 hours straight now that the alarm has been ringing. Two very long hours.

The alarm guy was supposed to be here an hour ago. Asshole.

PS. After 2 and a half hours the alarm finally stopped. My head is still ringing.

PSS. That massive bug I had never seen before and didn't want to see again, yeah well one was just walking across my living room carpet!! It's even creepier up close!! A wide but thin body, wings, 6 long legs it uses to walk (not crawl), and 2 long antenna it wiggles around.CREEPY!


Logical Libby said...
October 21, 2009 at 9:35 AM

My neighbor has the loudest alarm clock in the world, that goes off every afternoon at 2pm -- when he is not home and my daughter is sleeping.
Eventually I will have to break into his house and destroy it.

Cathy said...
October 21, 2009 at 12:24 PM

This is just the apt building reminding you of why you bought a house. I can't believe you sat there for 2 1/2 hours with the alarm blaring.

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