Moronic Monday – ‘911, what’s your emergency?’ ‘I need sex.’


Remember when you were a kid and were first learning to dial 911 and totally forgot the whole ‘only when in an emergency’ part and just dialed it at random times for no reason at all except that you could? Well, this guy never grew out of that apparently. He was bored and had zero minutes left on his cell phone so apparently he was broke too, so what’s a guy to do? Call a 911 operator of course. Except he wasn’t calling for a friendly conversation. No, he wanted a booty call. From the 911 operator. Clearly he didn’t think she had anything better to do, you know like helping save people’s lives.

Obviously the 911 operator was freaked out and angry that this man was wasting an important resource so she hung up on him. He then called back again. And again. And again. For a total of five phone calls all because he wanted to have sex with the female operator. He even went as far as asking if he could go to her house which begs the question if he was drunk or high, or even possibly both in order to truly believe it would happen. Or he was so horny all the blood drained from his head and he could no longer grasp reality. I pick all three. Just look at him!


Another important issue he overlooked was that 911 operator’s jobs are to track down where the callers are located. That’s sort of the entire point! Again, he was so distracted by his horniness that he just forgot and was surprised to find police outside his door 15 minutes later. Surprise! He was then arrested and charged for making a false 911 call. Maybe he found a nice jail cell buddy to help his physical problem.

My favorite part of the entire story though was when he was asked why he did this. His answer? That he couldn’t dial any other number on his cell phone AND he didn’t think he would get in trouble for calling 911.

This is totally a guy that would have paid to have sex with the virgin from last week, except he doesn’t have a job or money, so he thought the free version involved the 911 system in Florida. Clearly a winner.


Anonymous said...
November 17, 2009 at 1:02 AM

So did she sleep with him or what? Wow this guy really does qualify for the moronic monday award! The world should thank stupid people for adding so little but giving so much!

jessicabold said...
November 17, 2009 at 7:59 PM

Again, I applaud your extraordinary way of finding the absolute worst example of how NOT to be human.

Adrian - Random Musings of a Smart Ass said...
November 17, 2009 at 10:39 PM

I can just see a guy named Bubba walking up to him in jail saying, "I dropped my soap..."

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