Why yes, I would like a free in-home estimate and you’re a total douche.


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Honestly, this has become our life. Every house on the planet needs repairs and upgrades and the only way to do that is shop around. We would be absolutely insane not to price multiple companies to be sure we’re getting the best price for the product but God it’s annoying. Did you know that every window replacement company does free home estimates? Of course it’s helpful but it’s also annoying when you have four scheduled in a seven day period. Yes, four separate companies will be coming to our house to tell us how bad our windows are and why we should buy from them. As if we don’t know the windows are drafty since it’s the entire reason we want them replaced. The first one comes today and it all begins. I imagine it’s going to be a lot of the same thing. Our windows suck, theirs are awesome and we should spend our money with them, now please sign here.

Plus we’re also shopping for a security system because we’re way too paranoid about the world not to have one. I only wish they came with a large attack dog and a big man with a machine gun plus steel shields that surround the whole house and a panic room in the basement. I may be overreacting. Anyway, we had one company called Safe Home Security (I was going to leave the name out but what the hell) come out last night and he tried to screw us. He wanted us to pay $200 for equipment when the exact package we were buying was being offered completely free on their website. Do I have stupid written on my forehead? No dumbass, now get the hell out! Plus, he boasted that the company has an A+ rating with the Better Business Bureau and haven’t had a complaint since 2001. Oh really? Well that sounds like something to check. Ha! They actually have an F rating which is the lowest you can go AND they have several hundred recent complaints. Top rated my ass. Plus the BBB revoked their accreditation in 2007 because of bad business practices and there’s even a lawsuit against them by the attorney general in the headquarters’ state. Oh hell no! Next please.

It’s the second in-home estimate we’ve had a bad experience with. We had National Floors Direct to give an estimate to replace our hallway carpet. It’s only a hallway so clearly it’s not a big job with tons of commission potential but they knew that from the very beginning. The guy showed up and the first thing out of his mouth was, “you dragged me all the way out here for a hallway?” Uh yeah asshole, it’s your job. We should have kicked him out right then but for whatever reason we let him stay. I think it was because I wanted clean carpet in the worst way. He then measured and had us go out to his car to see the samples in his trunk. What the hell?! It was like we were doing some drug or gun deal in a back alley somewhere. We were both pretty pissed at this point but the topping on the cake was he ignored everything I said and only looked to my hubby for answers. As if I wasn’t standing right in front of him and my opinion didn’t matter. Such an asshat.

The whole thing ended with us telling him to leave our home and him storming out muttering to himself followed by us calling the company number to file a complaint. They tried to get us to allow another salesperson to come out for an estimate after apologizing profusely for his behavior. But at that point we wanted nothing to with the company. A couple days later we purchased carpet from Lowes and are now thrilled with our new clean and soft carpet. Emphasis on clean. We still want to replace the carpet in the finished part of the basement and we clearly won’t be calling that guy again.

So, who will be buying our windows from? No clue. What company will monitor our security system? Beats me. All I know is both things will be happening eventually once we find the right ones. In the mean time we get to have all kinds of people in the house giving their ‘estimates’ while I sanitize basically everything after each visit since I’m still hiding from swine flu. Purell and air/surface sanitizers are currently my best friends.

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