The house isn’t going to blow up or collapse so basically it was a good day.


The bank finally decided to accept our offer and it was amazing and totally weird at the same time because they did it by email. Seriously. I didn’t even know banks did anything by email but apparently this is casual enough for them to let our acceptance pop up next to the Viagra spam emails and helping some Nigerian prince who needs a gazillion dollars.

So after that we had to be on top of our deadlines for inspections and appraisals even though the bank didn’t follow theirs. Yesterday was the big day and it was exciting and nausea inducing all at the same time. We showed up and the team of people to judge our house showed up ready to rip it apart. Machines were set up for Radon testing which we still don’t have the answer for yet and the furnace was probed like it was abducted by aliens. Then beams were beaten to death looking for termites and the guy went up on the roof looking like a summer version of Santa. When everything was done we had one report in our hands that said the boiler was old but working fine and could last for a long time but honestly, no one really knows for sure. Then later we got the inspection report by email (notice a pattern here) that listed the things he found wrong but they were all minor which was great but now we still have a list of things that are against codes that we have to fix like an emergency switch for the boiler in the wrong spot and no banister on the basement stairs. We won’t know the appraisal results or Radon levels until sometime next week and I’m running out of patience.

The house was a total mess because the lady who lived there apparently doesn’t understand that when you move out you’re supposed to take all your junk with you. She also doesn’t understand that no one wants all her junk because she’s planning an “indoor yard sale” for the coming weekend. The whole point of a yard sale is it’s supposed to be in the freaking yard. There was also a missing door at the top of the basement stairs that the listing agent tried telling me never existed which was total bullshit. I know for a fact it did because I touched it at our first viewing of the house and the hinges were like right next to her head as she tried telling me there was never a door. Besides the door, everything else was where it was supposed to be so I guess we should be happy. I want the damn door though.

So now we still have to wait to get all the reports in and then wait for the underwriters to make a final decision and wait for the closing date. The waiting never really ends. I haven’t started packing because none of this feels real yet. I keep waiting for someone to pull it out from under us even though everyone says we should be packing by now. I really am an eternal pessimist.

I’ve decided to adopt the view that since the roof isn’t going to fall in, the foundation isn’t going to collapse and the boiler isn’t going to blow the house into tiny pieces then it was a successful inspection. Well, so far anyway.

UPDATE: So I totally love our Radon dude because he picked up the machine this morning and I just got the report (by email - this is so funny) and it's good news! We're no where near the dangerous level at all, so yay it's safe to be inside the house! The level itself is considered low so I'm thrilled. Now we just need the appraisal which we probably won't have until next week sometime.

UPDATE #2: The appraisal report just came in even earlier then we thought! It's good news! It appraised at the amount we needed for the sale. So YAY! Now all the reports are in and being sent to the right people.

Phew! We've seriously gone from a complete standstill to about 70mph in just a few days!


Rob said...
September 10, 2009 at 8:58 AM

Nothing seems real until they hand you the keys to the front door. Believe me.

Anonymous said...
September 11, 2009 at 5:42 PM

I actually wish that was us...we want to relocate...have wanted to relocate...for YEARS

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