Baby names have seriously gone to hell.


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Actual conversation from yesterday while reading celebrity 'news'.

Me: "Wow."

Husband: "What?"

Me: "Nicole Ritchie had a baby today. They named him SPARROW."

Husband: "SPARROW? As in a bird?"

Me: "Yeah."

Husband: "Why the hell do these people keep naming their kids incredibly stupid ass names?!"

Me: "Hold on, let me find the whole name again. Okay, it's SPARROW JAMES MIDNIGHT MADDEN."

Husband: "What the fuck?! It's a boy?"

Me: "Yes, it's a boy."

Husband: "What the fuck?! They're seriously setting that kid up to get his ass kicked."

Me: "I think they wanted it to match their daughter, HARLOW. I think that's what it is."

Husband: "HARLOW?"

Me: "Yeah, HARLOW WINTER KATE MADDEN."

Husband: "Really? Damn. What's next, MARROW ZIPPY SPRING?"

Me: "Wow. That's just horrible."

Husband: "And naming your kid after a bird at midnight isn't horrible?"

Me: "Well yeah, it is. I don't know, maybe they really really liked the movie Pirates of the Carribean a little bit too much. You know, as in Jack Sparrow - the hot pirate."

*He rolled his eyes at the hot pirate part.*

Husband: "Okay, fine. I like Forrest Gump and The Dark Knight so lets name our kid GUMP JOKER BUBBA."

Me: "That's even worse then the other name! You scare me sometimes."

Husband: "Well the crap people name their kids scares me."

It scares me too.

2 comments:

Little Girl Big Glasses said...
September 11, 2009 at 8:11 PM

What really bugs me is that every time a celebrity names their kid a noun, it just makes all the normal people think it's okay to name their kids stupid shit. I think it's Sonny & Cher's fault. They started it.

Matthew said...
September 14, 2009 at 8:22 AM

This came up over dinner tonight and it got to 'which is better, Harlow or Sparrow'.

The obvious answer is 'neither' but it's come to this; that we almost pick Sparrow.....

Sheesh.

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