My husband had an epiphany basically about crap and liverwurst. Seriously.


You'll see how this fits in below.

Based on the last post many of you have probably figured out that my husband is kind of nuts. It’s the funny kind of nuts though, not get a straight jacket in here kind. Although he did mention the other day if he was ever in a padded room wearing a straight jacket he would just bounce around singing about doing just that. Makes me so proud.

Anyway, for some reason today we were talking about weird and nasty food and somehow ended up on yucky food his parents love (yes, the in-laws that hate me). I honestly couldn’t even guess how we ended up having this conversation. It was probably one of those things that evolved from a completely unrelated topic, as usual. I highly recommend people to have random conversations that are stupid, insane and even gross with the person you love. It keeps things fresh. It’s my marriage advice people. You’re welcome!

One of the foods that came up was liverwurst. Apparently, his Mom absolutely loves to eat this stuff spread on bread. Honestly, I’ve never even seen liverwurst in my life. Thankfully, no one has ever decided to have it in my presence and I’m very appreciative for it. Based on his description, it’s a solid but spreadable (not a real word I guess) and comes in a tube that makes it seem like it should be sausage. Basically, I’m picturing wet dog food in a tube but that’s probably not right. Or maybe it is but who knows? To keep going with the theme of random topics, when he was talking about liverwurst a song popped in my head. Is that sad? That something like liverwurst actually reminded me of a song. It probably is, especially for the band that sang it. I started telling him about it and he had no idea what I was talking about. I couldn’t resist. I had to share it with him, just like I just have to share it with you! I apologize in advance.

The song is called, “The Big One” by Confederate Railroad (it's also called "Daddy Cut The Big One"). Now, I don’t like this band and couldn’t even name another song by them but my Dad used to listen to it all the time. It’s one of those songs that you just don’t forget which you will now be inflicted with. The story (if you can even call it that) of the song is a man farted in church. That’s really all there is. The entire song is about the fart that everyone hears and that it stunk up the church. That’s some great writing people. Here it is if you really want to hear it, it’s not required though. By the way, the quality of the song on the site isn’t that great but it was the only one they had so I had to use it. It’s good enough though and you can clearly understand and hear the song so it works. The line is at the end, so you do have to listen to the whole thing to hear it.

Music Playlist at

For those who do not wish to hear the song and I don’t blame you, the line that popped in my head was, “He said the devil made him do it, Mama said it was the liverwurst.” I guess eating the dog food in a tube makes you fart, but the song is really all I have to go on. My husband listened to the song and pretty much cracked up the whole way through. Then a few minutes later he had an epiphany. With this kind of topic, you can just tell how crazy this is going to be, huh? Here it is:

Husband: “Ohmygod! I just figured out where the phrase “crap on a cracker” came from! Liverwurst!”

I guess he’s infected me with his crazy because I can kind of get it. I mean, if this stuff looks, tastes and smells anything close to what I’m picturing it could totally be true. If it really looks like wet dog food, I would definitely call it ‘crap on a cracker’! I really don’t get why we even name food with “wurst” in it. Is there any more unappetizing sounding food then that? Well, there probably is but this has to rank up there as pretty damn bad.

Hopefully none of you actually like liverwurst because you probably won’t appreciate this comparison, but I do recommend you don’t eat any before going to church. They even wrote a song about it! As for my husband, he’s very proud of his idea and insisted I write a blog about it. I couldn’t think of anything else for tonight so I went with it.

If this insulted your liverwurst addiction then you can totally blame my husband, as he’s responsible for the this post and the last one. So yeah, it’s completely his fault and that’s my story. I also did not intend to have two song postings in a row, but oh well.


Attila The Mom said...
June 25, 2009 at 7:25 AM

Oh Jesus. I laughed so freaking hard that I woke the dogs up (it's 5am here)!

When my ex was temporarily stationed at Ft. Bragg in North Carolina, we lived in a tiny trailer in the middle of a scorching hot summer. It was too hot to cook---evah!

So we lived on cold stuff--ham, cheese, sandwiches, and this big square block of solid wurst. They call it Liver Puddin' down there. LOL

I wanna party with you guys. You sound just like Hubby and I. ;-)

Logical Libby said...
June 25, 2009 at 9:36 AM

Liverwurst is kind of like white trash pate. And I don't even like pate.

Rob said...
June 25, 2009 at 9:47 AM

Don't eat fig newtons before you go to church either. I don't know what it is about those things. Maybe they have liverwurst in them.

The Peach Tart said...
June 26, 2009 at 7:44 AM

I've never eaten liverwurst having the displeasure of smelling it once as a child and I've had a liverwurst phobia since.

This is my first time reading your blog. Very clever.

Phil said...
June 29, 2009 at 6:20 AM

This was not so much a post about the liverwurst or the song, but your relationship with your hubby. You two are very lucky to have each other.

LiLu said...
July 1, 2009 at 5:25 PM

I will never say that phrase again without smiling.

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