I cooked a tea kettle for dinner. What did you make?


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I should probably read this.

Are you one of those people that believe anyone can cook? If so, I’m here to prove you wrong. Oh so very wrong. Some people are naturally great at cooking a meal and others, not so much. I happen to know that there are people who cannot cook well to save their lives. I know because I am one. Now, I can do really basic stuff like hit the buttons on the microwave, measure out ingredients and boil water. My specialties include anything that can be microwaved (which isn’t even a word), prepackaged things that can be tossed in the pan with like water or milk or something and boil water. Anything beyond that and you don’t want me at the stove, unless you want to die from food poisoning or an explosion. It’s an accepted fact in my family and they no longer try to take me under their wing as they know it’s a losing battle.

Of course, I still have moments where even the basics escape me. One of those moments happened tonight. I was craving soup and decided to warm some up on the stove like a big girl. I put the soup in the pan, turned on the stove and walked away to wait for it to warm up. Several moments later I heard a very strange clicking sound that I was pretty sure I’ve never heard before. I went into the kitchen and didn’t notice anything odd but could still hear the noise. I checked the soup and it was still cold. I was all like, “What the hell? This stove is stupd!” My husband was in the shower so really, I was talking to myself but that was the least of my problems. I looked up at the panel and the light that indicates a surface unit is on was lit up but the burner was completely cold. Then I looked at the knobs and had an ‘oh shit’ moment. I turned the wrong burner on. Instead of the one in the front with the soup on it, I turned on the back burner which held our tea kettle. My tea kettle also happened to be empty which I know is a no-no, but shit happens. Sorry Mom.

I obviously quickly turned it off but the damage had been done. The tea kettle was clicking away which I took to be a very bad thing. I made my soup and tried too look all innocent when my husband was finished with his shower. He walked into the living room and was like, “Something’s burning! What the hell is burning?!” I explained my little mishap which he thought was a lot more then that, but really I think he was being dramatic. Once he was sure our apartment wasn’t about to burn down he was like, “You should be banned from the stove. Seriously.” It wouldn’t be all that shocking because he tried to ban be from using large knives after I cut my hand slicing open a pre-sliced bagel. Yeah, I really did that. Before you think I’m totally oblivious for not smelling something burning, I actually can’t smell, at all. I was born without a sense of smell so I cannot smell anything at all. Never could and never will. It’s called Congenital Anosmia which literally means being born without the ability to perceive smells. So yeah, that’s why I didn’t notice something was burning.

All is safe and fine now. Well, except for our tea kettle. Before my little accident it was shiny silver with a copper colored bottom. Below is what it looks like now.


No longer shiny silver.



Pretty burnt tea kettle.



Bye bye copper bottom - hello well done!


Oops.

So here's a tip because I'm now totally qualified. Always turn the correct burner on when using your stove or you end up making cajun style tea kettle for dinner. Now you know. You're welcome.

3 comments:

Rob Beverly said...
June 5, 2009 at 1:31 PM

Tea Kettles suck. It's better and much more fun to blow up soup in the microwave. Allow me to say I CAN'T stay away from Ice Road Truckers either! Carry on ...

Anonymous said...
June 6, 2009 at 12:49 AM

I actually did the same thing last week, except my tea kettle had some kind of softer metal insulating the bottom. When I took it off the hot burner the very bottom stayed there and molten metal went all over the stove. Major brain fail. And no more pretty kettle.

Phil said...
June 7, 2009 at 6:33 AM

That lack of smell thing is weird. I never knew that existed. Since smell is the sense that is linked most strongly to memories, I wonder how that effects you? I'm going to have to read up on this.

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