Anyway, all the sudden he randomly said “twister.” I could see he was in front of the condom shelves so hearing that word mixed with condoms sounded like a very dangerous combination. Naturally, I asked what the hell he was talking about and he proceeded to point out a box of Trojan magnum condoms with the word twister on the front in bright green text. The description said it had “deep ridges” around the condom in a spiral for “both partners pleasure.” What the hell?! Who in the world would want that word associated with anything involving our most tender areas? The second I hear the word twister I instantly think of a tornado and a nipple twister. I’m not really sure why it’s those two things together but that’s apparently how my train of thought can go.
So I would like to know who the genius was that came up with that naming campaign. Because, he (and yes it has to be a man) deserves a nipple twister. During a tornado. There are so many other things that would be more appealing than twister. Like the other varieties named ridges or ecstasy. Actually, they should have named it ripples. That’s much less menacing. I don’t care how good the box says it will be nothing is coming near my lady regions named twister, thankyouverymuch!
My hubby was far less impressed (horrified) and just walked away while I stared at this box like it was an alien. A woman walking down the aisle with her child gave me a look like I was some kind of sex fiend but whatever.
Maybe she needed some incontinence soap which would mean she had far bigger problems.