A body farm. Yes, that’s exactly what you don’t want to think it is.

Have you ever had a nightmare where there were dead bodies just fucking everywhere? Yeah, me either but I’m pretty sure this is what Stephen King dreams about all the time. It’s also an actual place that’s just as horrific as it sounds except there’s no killer running around. The entire term ‘body farm’ is probably the worst phrase I’ve ever heard myself say and I can talk about some pretty weird shit. It sounds like a scene straight out of one of the Saw movies but it’s actually exists. Three of them to be exact. Because clearly once you have one body farm, you want more. Like Pringles. Apparently. And yes I know how gross of a comparison that is.

The first one was created in Tennessee because they’re special and has become a trend across the country. A TREND! There are body farms at Western Carolina University, University of Tennessee-Knoxville and University of Texas-San Marcos. They must be so proud. I’m telling you the names in case you have an aversion to dead bodies (you know, like most people) so you can avoid the corpse college campuses of our wonderful country. Except whoever is in charge of this horror show is hoping to have one in every single state because that’s exactly what we all want. Basically they’re franchising. You know what though? I live in tiny Rhode Island and we totally don’t have room for a rotting dead human farm. Sorry. We’re full.

Anyway, the whole concept is so scientists (or necrophiliacs, whatever) can study how the human body decays in different environmental situations. I get it. It’s important for when actual serial killers build their own body farms and it gets repossessed. We have to know how they rot so we can figure out who they are and how long they were rotting. Totally makes sense except the whole dead bodies just lying around in the open part. It’s just creepy. I even watched a video of someone’s grandpa giving a tour of the ‘farm’ and explaining everything. There he was walking around all nonchalant as we pass by bodies just hanging out in the grass or on a rock. Limbs are all mangled and what’s left of the face contorted as if saying, “what the hell kind of shit is this?!" He just kept on talking as if he was explaining why the trees existed. Like it was no big deal.

Then the most horrifying and gag inducing part came up. He started talking about how when we die and are just left laying around outside, the skin on our hands slides off. Slides right fucking off! It's called skin slippage. They even zoomed in on dead hands to prove it. As if I needed a visual. I almost vomited on my laptop right then and there. He called it “degloving.” I will never look at gloves the same way again. He wasn’t done though. He started talking about how they recover finger prints from such a situation which apparently involves putting the dead person’s hand on your hand. Like sliding on glove. I’m not even shitting you. Again, I feel like I’m talking about a Saw movie except they really do this and this guy was giving a re-enactment with a pair of rubber gloves for the camera. I didn’t know if I should vomit or just run away screaming until it stopped.

Instead, I decided to share it with you.



You can thank me later.