Mother Nature says to be green! She's even more important then that Simon guy that always tells us what to do!


It’s Earth Day! Did you know that? It’s a good day to inform people about ways they can be green and help the planet, but we really all should be doing things everyday! Here’s what I do to help my little part of the planet. I’m not perfect and there’s a lot more I could or should do but here’s how my list goes so far.

My Green List:

- I recycle.
- I only use cold water when doing laundry.
- I always do full loads for laundry and dishes in the dishwasher.
- I turn lights off when I’m not using them – so whenever I leave the room or apartment.
- I use energy efficient light bulbs.
- Any electronics or appliances we buy (or will buy for our house) are energy star rated.
- I only use reusable bags when grocery shopping and any store I go too. I have a very cute little collection.
- I keep the thermostat turned down low for heat and higher for AC to save energy but still be comfortable.
- All my bills are set to be “paperless” so I only get online statements. Only two bills actually come in the mail and it’s because they don’t offer a “paperless” feature (dumb gas and electric company).
- I try to take as quick of a shower as I can but sometimes I will take longer then needed to relax, but only occasionally!
- I turn off the sink when brushing my teeth and only turn it back on when needed (saves gallons of water)!
- I never litter and will pick up things to throw them away that other people tossed aside.
- I use “green” cleaning products as much as possible and I’m surprised at how well they work compared to the original formulas.
- I have a water filter attached to my sink to use as drinking and cooking water instead of using bottled (when I need bottled for something I always recycle the bottle).

That’s everything I can think of at the moment. If I think of more I’ll come back to add but I’m pretty sure this covers it all. When my husband and I move into our new house we plan to add even more things to our list like installing efficient water flow faucets, toilets and showerheads (the things we can’t control in our apartment). We also plan to build a deck in the backyard and want to make it as environmentally friendly as possible. Any improvements we make we will try our hardest to make it energy efficient and use planet friendly materials. We also plan to use no VOC paint (it doesn’t have the fumes normal paint does) when we paint inside and out.

My husband also has plans to install a solar powered water heater and has already looked into installation costs and requirements. We would love to have solar panels on our roof at some point as well, but it depends on the requirements for the panels in relation to the house location and size as well as laws in the area.

So there’s my little part and hopes to do more. We also plan to buy a hybrid for our next car (I really love the Prius in red or black)!

Happy Earth Day and be kind to our awesome planet!


Order a junior cheeseburger at Wendy's and they might give you a bun with no meat!


Am I asking too much to expect people who work at Wendy’s to actually know what belongs with what on their menu? Is that being all crazy with my demands and should I just shut up and eat? I’m going with no, but I think I’m totally biased in this situation. They are my taste buds though and my stomach that’s involved so I kind of feel like I have a right (well, in this situation it’s not really my stomach but that’s not really important).

So I love Wendy’s food way more then I should and it’s totally bad for me, but it’s yummy and it’s kind of right near my apartment. I love their chicken tenders or nuggets or whatever their name is and dipped in the honey mustard sauce is heaven. Ok, I just made myself hungry and crave Wendy’s. Great. Anyway, even though the food is yummy they totally don’t know their own menu very well. I mean they look at it all damn day so you would think they would have a pretty good handle on it, but nope. Here’s a perfect example and it’s happened more then one time to my husband.

Him: “I would like a junior cheese burger with a large fry.”

Cashier: “Ok. That will be $3.00”

– (Or whatever it would cost – I’m not usually there)

He pays and they make the food. Now a junior cheeseburger is very simple. It includes the following:


Sounds simple enough but when he opens the bag he finds a bacon cheeseburger instead. These include everything listed above with the additions of:


Clearly these do not belong on a junior cheeseburger so he returns to the counter and has the following (maddening) conversation.

Him: “This is not what I ordered. I asked for a junior cheeseburger and you gave me a bacon cheeseburger.”

Cashier: “Oh. Um. Well, what did you want again?”

Him: “A junior cheeseburger.”

Cashier: “Do you have your receipt?”

Him: “I was just in here. You saw me; I literally just left less then two minutes ago.” But he hands over the receipt anyway.

Cashier: “Well your receipt says bacon cheeseburger, so that’s what you got.”

Him: “Then you put it in wrong because I ordered a junior cheeseburger, I don’t even like bacon! I just want what I ordered.”

Cashier: “Well, do you want me to just take the bacon off?”

Him: “NO! I want a junior cheeseburger the way it should be. Let me see your manager.”

Manager: “What’s the problem here? What did he order?”

Cashier: “His receipt says bacon cheeseburger but he says he wanted a junior cheeseburger.”

Manager: “So just give him the junior cheeseburger.”

It was literally beyond the cashier’s comprehension to just replace the burger with the correct order. It’s really not that complicated. The sad thing is this wasn’t even the worst experience he had. One time they gave him a bacon cheeseburger instead of a junior cheeseburger. He returned it and they made a new one. When he opened it up it was a burger without the meat! They literally gave him a bun with cheese, ketchup, mustard, onion and a pickle and only that! He was floored and asked what it was supposed to be and their response was, “it’s a meatless burger.” Talk about a serious oxymoron! He then had to argue with them again that he didn’t want a bun with a bunch of toppings; he wanted the meat actually in the bun! They were just like, “well we thought you wanted one without the meat.” What would be the point?! Honestly. He did finally get the correct burger by the way, after he had to detail to them exactly what comes on their own menu.

He’s actually in an active boycott of the Wendy’s near his work because he thinks they’re too incompetent since they can’t make the simplest burger on their menu. Once they even gave him a chicken sandwich instead of a burger. That’s not even from the same animal!

So I think the people who work at Wendy’s and all fast food places need to study their menu much more. When they can’t tell the difference between a bacon cheeseburger, a junior cheeseburger and a chicken sandwich, there’s a serious problem somewhere!

They need to go back to preschool and play with one of those sound toys that say “a cow says moo, a pig says oink...” Maybe that should be part of their training process at Wendy’s!

My state punishes you more for recycling here then littering!


You should recycle, everyone knows that. Not everyone does it, but most everyone admits that it’s better to recycle then to just throw it all away. We all also know that it’s wrong to litter (that means you, litterbugs!) and you will be fined if you’re caught. BUT, my wonderful state fines you much higher for bringing your recyclables from out of state then they will if you just throw it out of your car window. Yup, we’re special like that.

I just learned this today which proves that there’s always something new to learn about your lawmakers and their wacked out ideas. I was heading down (or up depending on how you look at it, whatever) the highway and was coming up on the exit for our recycling center. It has the longest name ever (six words in total – maybe they should have recycled some of those letters), but that’s not really important to my point. Anyway, at the entrance of the exit there was a sign that stated the following:

“State law prohibits dumping of out of state garbage. All violators will be fined a penalty of $5,000.”

The amount of the fine was in bright red just so they really got their point across. I saw it, commented about it (as usual) but was more then ready to forget about it. That was until several feet up the highway when we passed a ‘no littering’ sign. I’ve passed these things millions of times and have seen the fine posted enough times that I should know what it says. However, I’m good to the planet and don’t litter so I guess it just doesn’t stick. I learned (well, re-learned I guess) that the law and fines are as followed:

“NO LITTERING! Violators will be fined from $55 to $500.”

Hmmph. So, if someone decides to bring their junk to my state (for whatever reason they can think of) they will promptly be fined five thousand dollars, just for wanting to recycle here instead of where they live. If they just throw it out onto the ground somewhere else in the state (even right OUTSIDE the recycling center’s property line) they could only be charged fifty-five dollars. Even if they get the full fine of five hundred, they still get nothing compared if they crossed into the recycling center itself. How crazy is that?!

I get that we don’t want every other’s state’s stuff since we have enough of our own, but why do litterbugs get off so easy compared to people actually trying to bring their stuff where it can be repurposed? They’re being green! They want their junk to be recycled and turned into something useful instead of being eyesores on the side of the road. Talk about being severely punished for being the “good guy”. I’m not saying there shouldn’t be a fine since we can’t let everyone and their sister bring stuff from out of state, but why do the irresponsible people just tossing it on the ground get off easier? Why are they only out a small amount when the people bringing it to the proper place get slammed with a high fine?

My state is seriously backwards. They say they want you to recycle, especially larger items that need to be brought directly to the recycling center but yet they make it as difficult as they can. In a previous post I mentioned the very limited schedule they have. You can only drop off one Saturday a month and just between the hours of 8am – 12pm. That’s it! Then if you happen not to be a resident and want to recycle you have to pay a large fine (and keep your crap). Yet, we give minor punishments to people who litter and cause damage to the environment and wildlife, not to mention it makes the roadways look bad.

They seriously need to step up the littering fines and be more flexible on their “drop off hours”!

PS: My laptop totally shut down on me in the middle of writing this post and it brought back my work! I didn’t even save yet but it didn’t delete what I wrote! YAY!! Good thing since there was no way I was re-writing all this crap again.

Goopy ooze from brown balls of stink cleans your laundry....?


Picture of Soap Nuts.

Pop quiz: What do you use to clean your clothes and linens when doing laundry? Time’s up! Everyone have their answer? Many of you probably said laundry detergent or listed the brand you like to use. Are you ready for an idea from left field (on my field anyway)?

How about washing your laundry with sun dried fruit, and only those pieces with NO detergent, fabric softener, bleach or dryer sheets? Yes, I’m being totally serious. Would you use it? Are you now thinking I’m completely nuts and worrying that I smell god awful? Don’t worry; I use normal soap for my clothes and my clothes smell spring fresh!

I’m totally not making any of this up. I accidently came across a company that sells a small fruit from trees grown only in India, Indonesia and Nepal. They’re called SOAP NUTS (actual fruit name – not company name). I feel the need to point out that they are neither soap nor a nut, but for some reason that’s their name. Makes a whole lot of sense huh? Anyway, these small fruits are sun-dried (like yummy sun-dried tomatoes only you don’t eat them) and de-seeded then used in your washing machine to clean your clothes. I’m totally not shitting you!

The site was completely legit and very enthusiastic about their funny little product. They gush how they clean your clothes without using chemicals or fragrances. I don’t really get how the whole thing really cleans your clothes but I’ll explain how they supposedly work.

Step 1: Place several of these odd and dirty looking brown/black “shells” into a little cloth baggy.

Step 2: Toss said baggy into your washing machine and NO other cleaning products.

Step 3: Set to wash in warm or hot water and rinse in cold water (that would be adding more steps for my washer since I would have to manually turn it off, reset water temp then turn it back on just the rinse cycle. Laundry sucks enough with out all that!) Oh, it says to leave the baggy with the soap nuts in for the rinse cycle although I don’t get why.

Step 4: Remove clothes from washer and little baggy and toss clothes into dryer with NO dryer sheets.

They claim that after all this you will have completely clean and soft clothes. I’m kind of left saying “HUHH?” I mean laundry is pretty basic but one of the key elements is soap/detergent, otherwise you’re just wetting and drying the clothes for nothing! According to people who use this stuff, a substance called “saponin” is what is supposed to be cleaning your fabrics. Uh huh.

It’s supposed to be a historical version of soap and I get that maybe it might have some qualities that may clean some things, but come on people! Could you really trust these little dried fruit things to make your clothes feel all clean and fresh? Would you feel just as satisfied wearing them after using these instead of your trusted detergent sitting in your laundry room? I wouldn’t and would just want to rewash everything before I felt they were clean to wear (I think being a slight germaphobe might have something to do it).

Here’s the really gross part though! The stuff that is supposed to be cleaning your clothes is described as a “honey like liquid”. Uh, ew? Plus they warn that you may see black marks on the baggy after the wash is finished. Oh yeah, that screams clean in my book! They also admit that the fruit/nut, whatever it is, actually has a “noticeable pungent smell”. It’s claimed that just the nuts will smell this way, but the clothes won’t. I find that a bit hard to believe, but whatever!

The final crazy thing is that they’re supposed to be all natural and great for the environment, you know, they’re “green”. BUT, you have to use warm or hot water in order for the goopy ooze to release from the brown balls of stink and “clean” your laundry. So, you have to use more energy and your hot water to wash whatever load it is, just for these fruit/nuts. What happened to using cold water for your laundry to save energy and hot water? Isn’t that what’s recommended to be environmentally friendly?

I call bullshit! I tend to lose that game though, so maybe I’m totally wrong and completely talking out of my ass but I still don’t want those little things rolling around with my clothes that I want clean.

I’ll stick with my laundry detergent that I know and love, thank you very much!

If only Mockingbirds could masturbate, then I could get some sleep.


A new little birdie has moved into a small wooded area behind my apartment, and it goes by the name Northern Mockingbird. I prefer to call it a royal pain in my ass! He moved in about a month ago and has spent every single night since then singing. He starts around 7pm-ish and goes consistently until around 4 in the morning. This bird just sits in the damn tree and calls out into the night, and my bedroom window. Once I found out the type of bird it is, I went looking for information and couldn’t believe what I learned. Everyone finds it completely hilarious at my expense. Family and friends have gotten a huge kick out of it and like to make fun of me and my horny bird friend any chance they get.

Here are some facts about the (aggravating, infuriating, sanity killing) Mockingbird:

  • The mockingbird has even been known to mimic the sounds of dogs and sirens! The mockingbird is especially vocal on moonlit spring nights.
  • The male mockingbird is the one who does all the singing; he sings to attract females.
  • During mating season male mocking birds may sing night and day!

Yes, this bird is keeping me awake night after night because it’s HORNY! The bird is desperate to get laid and apparently none of the females are interested. I’ve decided this bird is either:

- Considered seriously ugly in the bird world
- Has some type of deformity
- Sucks at singing

Or my personal favorite,
- Is really really bad at bird sex in the nest.

Either way, until this bird gets laid my sleep is being severely disturbed. I can’t really sleep through any noise so it doesn’t take a lot to keep me awake. I’m no match against a persistent high pitch shrill of a noise throughout the night. I’ve been told it’s “not that bad of a sound” by other people but I’ve developed a deep dislike for this bird, so to me it might as well be a siren in my ear.

Maybe I should find a really slutty female bird that will just give this desperate Mockingbird some attention before I lose my mind.

If he could just masturbate it would make all of our lives so much better.

Quick! Someone stole their common sense!


Here’s a question: when you read an ad for the sale of something or offering of a free item, do you read everything the ad says before responding? Say the ad is posted online. Doesn’t it make sense to read the whole ad, especially text that is capitalized and bolded before responding to the post? Maybe I’m alone on this but my answers to those questions would be OF COURSE!

My TV died last week (what fun huh?) and we purchased a new one. We can’t take it to the recycling center until next week because they only have drop off days one day a month. Yes, seriously. It’s kind of hard to encourage people to recycle when you tell them they can only do it one Saturday a month between 8am and 12pm. I mean, can we get any less convenient then that? Not to mention you have to pay them $5 to give them your dead and useless TV. Anyway, I digress. Since we have to hold on to this thing until that specified date, I decided to post it online just in case someone wanted it for parts or something. It’s listed as free so it’s not like I’m trying to make anything on it.

Here is the exact ad I posted.

“I have a 6 year old 27inch Toshiba TV that is free for the taking. PLEASE NOTE THE TV DOES NOT CURRENTLY WORK! I don't know what's wrong with it and really have no interest in having it checked out. We just simply purchased a new one. Might be best for parts, unless you are familiar with TVs and can repair it yourself. Either way, it's FREE!

It's cosmetically in great shape and has never been damaged. One day it worked fine and the next it refused to turn on and instead made clicking sounds. I do still have the remote for it (battery cover on remote is missing though).

Sound and picture were completely fine until the day it wouldn't turn on. Cord is in perfect condition. Weighs approximately 40-50lbs with the tube on the back making it somewhat bulky.

YOU MUST PICK UP! I will not ship or drop off the TV.

I can't drop it off at the Recycling center until April 25th which is the next "drop off" day. I will be holding the TV until then. If no one takes it before that date, then it's gone.


Clearly I tried making it as obvious as possible that the TV does not work. I explained exactly what was going on and tried to make sure there was no doubt about it. Well, apparently it wasn’t enough because I received an email asking if it was still available. I was all like, “Yes it is. You’re aware that it’s not working right? I made sure to put in the ad several times that it doesn’t turn on and just clicks instead.” I just wanted to make sure they knew but I figured they must obviously understand all this. Boy was I wrong! Here’s the email I got back.

“Thanks for getting back to me. We were not aware of all of the issues. Thanks anyway. We are not interested.”

HELLLLOOOO???? Did I miss something here? The ad talked about nothing except what was wrong with the TV. I made the text bold and even capitalized to emphasize it even more. I clearly stated the TV didn’t work several times yet they somehow “weren’t aware of all the issues”.

So I think someone stole their common sense. How did they miss it? So either they thought I wrote that it was a broken TV just because it’s fun to say OR they responded to the ad without even reading a single word I posted. Either way, their common sense is missing and someone should totally give it back.

Maybe we should invent some kind of “common sense donation bank” to help the people lacking this important skill.


I'm a genius and I just figured why the banks are so screwed! Ok, maybe not but I have a point.


So we all know the economy is in the crapper because there are about a billion articles saying so and plenty of talking heads on TV telling us how much our lives suck. Great. The banks screwed up and now they need money. They have tons of homes they own that need to sell but there are too many so it's a huge problem, and blah blah blah. Everyone on the same page? Good, because here comes my point (not in a very genius way, but oh well).

Everyone knows that many of the houses on the market are short sales or foreclosures. They're more of a pain to buy since normal people don't make the choice to accept an offer but the bank people do. The banks sit and wait for buyers to make offers on the houses, then they sit and stare at the hundreds of offers they have on their desks for the hundreds of houses they're trying to unload. They take weeks or months doing this. Then some random day they make a choice. Logic (mine anyway) says they would pick the one offering the most money (and as close to the "asking price" as possible). Agree?

Well guess what, THEY DON'T! Here's a serious news flash, banks will purposely take LESS money on a house they are already losing money on in the first place! I know this because it just literally happened to me on a house I had an offer in on. So, yeah I didn't pull this out of my ass.

This made no sense to me, my agent or other agents in their office. Shocked, I have literally asked almost everyone I know they're opinion and they surprisingly agree with my logic. Banks make stupid choices, is the general agreement.

I think I have just figured out why our banking system is so screwed up, or at least a part of it. They gave mortgages to people who probably shouldn't have qualified, and they did this A LOT. Then they sold all these "bad loans" to other companies until they were passed around more then our friend the hot potato. The loans defaulted for one reason or another and the bank loses money on each house everyday. THEN, when someone wants to buy one of the damn things they choose to take less money (even though someone else will give more), and put themselves in a position to lose more on a house they were already in the red on. After all this nonsense, the people making all these choices get a huge bonus. So we're rewarding them for screwing the bank and everyone involved over. Freaking fantastic isn't it? Cue the eye rolling!

Anyone else want to smack themselves in the head after thinking about all this? I DO!

Spring sprung a leak and I'm totally not happy about it.


Do you ever get the feeling that Mother Nature is trying to screw with you? I do and many would say that means I’m clinically insane but it doesn’t change the fact that this spring season has been like one non-stop rain storm. Winter totally sucked and I was all like “I can’t wait for spring”. Now spring is here and it brought the monsoon season along with it. I know the whole ‘April showers bring May flowers’ crap but come on, how much rain do the flowers really need anyway? A few good showers and we’re done right? At least in my world it would be. No one would want to live there though because it would probably turn out to be a desert if I had any control over when it rains. But hey, I would be dry!

It’s not like it’s the nice gentle rain that doesn’t get in your way either. No, it’s the lets screw up peoples day kind of rain. The almost black skies with whistling wind and sheets of rain all damn day, and I don’t even live in the tornado section of the country! Actually here, the word tornado and dangerous thunder storms are totally the other part of the country’s problem. We get thunder and lighting but it lasts a whole ten minutes and you don’t even get the good bone rattling ones everyone is waiting for. Instead it just rains day after day and just a cloudy sky is considered “nice”. I might be crazy (ok, forget the ‘might be’) but a day where you see nothing but clouds and the sun is a distant memory doesn’t count as a nice day in my book, but hey my world is a desert, remember? So what do I know?

Maybe I wouldn’t hate the rain so much if I could actually use my totally cute bright pink umbrella more often, but I can’t. Rain here means wind so using your umbrella is like saying you think it looks better inside out! I think mine is just far too cute to let that happen so it stays dry in my purse while I bitch and moan about being wet.

New rule, it can only rain at night (even though that would probably screw a lot of things up).

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